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Oprah’s Ratings Crash Faster Than Paul Blart’s Blood Sugar

By Evil Beet Gossip • on July 20, 2009

I realize that if you didn’t see Paul Blart: Mall Cop, that headline is lost on you, so I’ve prepared an alternative. How about, “Oprah’s Ratings Crash Faster Than Lizzie Grubman’s SUV Into A Crowd of Pedestrians” ? The moral of the story: The American people have smartened up and aren’t watching Oprah. And I thank you for that.

The week ending July 5th was the worst in ratings since 1983, the debut year of The Oprah Winfrey Show. It isn’t a totally fair comparison since it was a holiday week, Michael Jackson had just died, and Wimbledon was on. So, it was a bad week for ratings in general, but the show has been on a steady decline since October of 2008.

What could be causing this loss of viewership? Perhaps people are sick of her inability to find truthful authors. Or maybe her audience has reached their limit in watching her hypocritcal advice-doling sessions whilst her own weight spirals out of control due to her “wacky thyroid.” Want to know why I think people are tuning out? I’ll speak for myself: Because when I watch television, I don’t want to be lectured if I don’t follow Suze Orman’s financial plan, admonished if I don’t get enough Omega-3 like Dr. Oz tells me I should, or criticized if I think The Secret is nothing but common sense bound into a book. I don’t want to feel less than worthy if I don’t support every gasp of air that Barack Obama takes and — I know I’m crossing a line here — I’m not so impressed with Oprah’s Book Club picks. Oprah doesn’t feel good, and if I’m going to dedicate 42 minutes to television I want to walk away feeling positive about the experience.