Brad Pitt Says Smoking Weed Made Him Fat

OK, so I know that you all saw the Parade Magazine interview with Brad Pitt that came out yesterday and it’s great that he supports gay marriage, but hello– I think we already knew that. Let’s concentrate on this sound byte about his teen years, shall we?

I liked to smoke a bit of grass at the time and I became very sheltered. Then I got bored. I was turning into a damn doughnut, really.

A damn doughnut, really. I have to say as someone who is barely known but maybe more commonly associated with smoking le grass (French points!) than Brad, that nothing gets my rocks off more than hearing celebrities talk about their munchies weight, because then you know that they aren’t just occasional tokers. People who pack on the pounds via munchies and then take said pounds off while still being potheads are truly magical beings. They have transcended stoner culture and have now adapted a lifestyle. Once you’re no longer just using pot as a means to properly space out in front of episodes of Family Guy and eat a bag of Funyuns , you’re probably using it to self medicate. And it’s kinda awesome to think about Brad Pitt having a big fat headache from the kids, the wife,et c., going out to his shed with a Doobie Brothers’ record and sparking up a fat ass joint.

I imagine that Brad uses this time to stare at the backs of his hands, play with one of those miniature rock gardens and contemplate whether or not it’s a good idea to have another kid. When you think about it, it would certainly explain why he has so many of them.

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