Log in • Subscribe

I Blew Out The Candles … And My Wish Came True

By Evil Beet Gossip • on August 25, 2009

Last Saturday was my birthday. Incidentally, thank you for the onslaught of well-wishes that many of you sent me through email, Twitter, and Facebook. My husband made gluten-free cupcakes and family gathered ’round. I hemmed and I hawed and couldn’t decide what my birthday wish should be. My kids are healthy and happy, my spouse is great, I love what I do. So I wished for the only logical thing: That Jon Gosselin would finally fall off into the pit of obscurity. Apparently, it was a powerful candle-blow, because that exact thing might be happening.

It could be a pre-emptive strike if TLC is going to fire him for violating the morals clause in his contract, but Gosselin told Us ”I wish I had a 9 to 5 job instead of the nightmare I’m living. This is 24/7. I don’t even want to do taping for the show anymore.”

Sadly, Jon has no escape unless he can find an IT company that’s willing to a) allow him to wear Ed Hardy t-shirts to the office and b) pay him $75,000 a week to manage their network. ”I have two houses and eight children to take care of and I need to work.”

So, I know the economy is tough, but are there any takers? Really, you’d be getting an adequate computer dude and you’d probably become the most beloved corporation in all of America if you would just hire Jon Gosselin. Take him off our hands, please!

When you think about it, isn’t it sad that the Gosselins get paid a huge sum of money — and need to keep doing it to pay for their house — to do what the rest of us do for free and off-camera? Parent.