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Tiger Woods Releases Statement

By Evil Beet Gossip • on November 29, 2009

After canceling an interview with the Florida Highway Patrol that was scheduled for today, Woods released a statement on his website, Tigerwoods.com, that didn’t do anything to clear up the sketchy circumstances surrounding his mysterious car crash early Friday morning, but basically told everyone to butt the hell out of his biznass.

As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I’m pretty sore.

This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.

This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.

The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.

This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.

And he’s absolutely right. There’s nothing unusual about one of Tiger Wood’s drives ending up in some trees. (ba-dum-ching!)

Seriously though, I didn’t know you could just cancel an interview with law enforcement. To me, those repeated cancellations just reek of “I’m waiting for some kind of substance to clear out of my blood stream’ because he’s already lawyered up.

My personal theory is that there were drugs involved that rendered him unconscious before the crash and actually caused the collision. He was unconscious and mumbling when authorities arrived, but the airbags in his vehicle never deployed- meaning that the collision shouldn’t have been hard enough to knock him out.