Is Anyone Else Watching Kell on Earth?
It’s a television show on Bravo that follows the life and work of self-proclaimed “power girl” Kelly Cutrone. She runs a fashion PR firm where associates and partners and junior associates run around screaming at each other and then Kelly screams louder. She’s co-authoring a book called If You Have to Cry, Go Outside. She’s got this mentality that the most important thing in this world is to have power, and that to have power you absolutely must treat everyone else as though their feelings don’t exist.
She fascinates me. I disagree with everything about her. I disagree, firstly, with the notion that you cannot have a staff that respects and works hard for you without constantly cutting them down. I hate the way she and all her minions run around, causing drama, creating problems, and hurting each other’s feelings, as though this is the only way a successful organization can be run. She has one Jr. Account Executive who looks like she hasn’t, honestly, slept in three months. Like her undereye circles were tattooed there. Like if you stuck her in a room with a bottle of Ambien and a nice warm bed and good books and a DVD player and a vibrator and told her she couldn’t come out for a week, NOBODY WOULD RECOGNIZE THE GIRL WHO LEAVES THAT ROOM.
While my career is important to me, I never think of it in terms of power. I think of it in terms of creative fulfillment — of what I can do to feel productive while creating something that has value to others. While providing my teammates with the respect and accolades they deserve and making it clear to them, politely, when they need to work harder and differently. When you do it that way, you also get good results. It’s not the trial-by-fire method Kelly uses, but, man, it keeps my business running smoothly and stress-free. I, personally, prefer that to drama.
I also do not want to grow up to have the “modern parenting” arrangement Kelly seems so proud of, where she raises her 7-year-old daughter in their loft above her company’s offices and manages to squeeze in an hour a day of time with her, most of which appears to be spent telling her daughter how pretty she looks after the nannies have dressed her, and her daughter’s “modern” father lives in Europe and seems to, at least, have his daughter’s phone number and coo at her long-distance, all the while fucking Kelly when she happens to be on the same continent. Like, this is not something to aspire to, people, and having a successful career is not necessarily synonymous with the sacrifice of family life and basic human-to-human kindness. If Kelly didn’t set such a dramatastic example for her employees, that would not be the culture of the entire firm. Issues could be addressed in a normal tone of voice, and people could say please and thank you, and take time to put themselves in the other person’s shoes and see how they could help. They could possibly step outside their own egos and this drama on which they thrive, and they could work toward what was best for the firm. It wouldn’t have to look like a battlezone.
Powerful, successful women don’t have to have “modern parenting” arrangements to cover for the fact that they had a child with a man and he peaced out and you haven’t dated since and the nannies raise your kids. There are many “modern parenting” arrangements I like — the father can be a stay-at-home dad while the mom works. Both parents can work part-time. But essentially leaving your child to be raised by nannies, and popping in every now and then to coo at her jacket or take her to a photo shot, is not “modern parenting,” unless we’d like to expand the phrase to include “child-rearing outsourcing.”
The point is this, ladies: Kell on Earth — and the opinion of Kelly Cutrone, specifically — is polarizing, and it sends a message with which I firmly disagree. The message is this: Either you are an power-obsessed gazillionaire drama queen like Kelly whose life is full-time stress and her relationship with her family is loose at best, or you better just sit at home and bake cookies, or, at the very least, resign yourself to the middle management position at that insurance firm. THERE IS A MIDDLE GROUND, LADIES. We don’t have a lot of high-profile role models for it, because those people don’t make good television, but there are plenty of women out there running wildly successful companies using collaborative management strategies and positive reinforcement and who allow their talent and skill to do most of the heavy lifting for them. There are many ways to be a “power bitch.” You can achieve the same results without wielding power as a defensive shield, and you can certainly do it without being a bitch. You can be assertive without talking to people as though they are less valuable than you are. Remember that doing it Kelly’s way means you live Kelly’s life, and that’s not in any way appealing to me.
Work hard, ladies, and treat each other with respect and humility. And then maybe one day you’ll run a hyper-successful company and you’ll still have the emotional wherewithall to actually be a primary caregiver to your child and still have time to wear lipstick. It’s possible.
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