Jake Admits He Didn’t Have Sexual Chemistry with Tenley

A-ha! I’ve been waiting for this to be cleared up. On the last episode of this season’s Bachelor, when Jake told Tenley, “We just don’t have physical chemistry. I mean, I’m not talking about sexual chemistry, I mean physical chemistry.” And Tenley looked at him like “What the fuck is the difference?” and I looked at the TV like “What the fuck is the difference?” I mean, it’s pretty obvious that Tenley’s sexual modus operandi is to lie on her back, close her eyes, and dream of Disney characters until the whole thing’s over, whereas Vienna probably keeps condoms tucked in the heels of her shoes. (I kid, I kid. Vienna’s never even heard of a condom.)

Jake opted to clear it up during a recent visit to my nemesis Jimmy Kimmel.

“Ok, I’ll come clean: Physical and sexual chemistry are the same thing,” he said on the show. He said that he used the word “physical” instead of “sexual” because he “was trying to take the high road and be nice. I didn’t want to crush her because she is such a wonderful person.”

Jake continues to deny reports that he “cheated” on Vienna with ex-girlfriend Tanya Douglas, who’s claiming that Jake called her following the finale and said he was coming back to her. He said in a recent statement: “It is unfortunate that people such as this are trying to financially capitalize on or disparage my incredible relationship with Vienna. I only wish everyone could be as happy for us as we are happy together.” And, yeah, I agree with Jake. This chick is jealous and trying to make a buck. IGNORED.

JAKE AND VIENNA 4-EVA!!!

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Jake Admits He Didn’t Have Sexual Chemistry with Tenley
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