Can Someone Tell Me What Happened to Mischa Barton’s Face?

Is it a terribly rude thing to say that someone looks like complete f-cking shit? Because OH MY GOD does Mischa Barton look like complete f-cking shit. What the hell happened here? Is this a result of really bad dental hygiene? Because Lindsay had the same problem and you know what she’s looking like these days, Lord.

Let’s break it down, though, shall we? Do I think that Meesh here got some facial surgery? Well, in a word, no. In four words, “yes definitely,” and “maxillofacial surgeon.” Do you know what maxillofacial surgery is? Here it is, defined:

… Maxillofacial surgery is surgery to correct a wide spectrum of diseases, injuries and defects in the head, neck, face, jaws and the hard and soft tissues of the oral and maxillofacial region.

Because I definitely think that’s the thing that’s happening here. Mischa has some kind of diseased, deformed head that needed some serious attention, and that’s why she looks like a blossoming meth head riding the meth express on her way to meth heaven.

Honestly, it was only a matter of time before her molars did her in. Don’t any of you remember this photo?:

Because I do. Oh yes, I do.

In related Mischa news, can you believe that Noel Gallagher (of Oasis fame) cast girlfriend in a music video? Because he did:

The ex-Oasis guitarist filmed the promo with the actress in Los Angeles at the end of last month and he believes it is one of the best videos he has made during his career.

Writing on his Tales From The Middle of Nowhere blog, he revealed: ”I had a shoot for my new single. That’ll be the 5th off this album which is unprecedented in all my time making records. This album is fast becoming my ‘Thriller’!!

”I played the part of a slightly hungover grumpy northern taxi driver which is just as well as that’s exactly what I felt like. I feel it’s some of my best work and most definitely worthy of at least one Bafta. That actress Mischa Barton was in it too. Nice girl. (Manchester) City fan would you believe!?!? (sic)”

Mischa, 26, spent most of the shoot running around in leopard-print underwear but the former “O.C.” star didn’t mind because she was so thrilled to be working with the ‘Dream On’ singer and his band the High Flying Birds.

She tweeted at the time: ”Doing Noel Gallagher’s video. Was so excited I barely slept and he didn’t disappoint!”

Well. I’d say “that explains her face,” but that wouldn’t make sense, now, would it? Then again, not many things need to make sense when you’re as methified as Mischa Barton apparently is.

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